Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Royals Players Upset at Having to Cancel Vacations

The Kansas City Royals will be facing the Baltimore Orioles in the ALCS this year, marking their first appearance in the playoffs since 1985. Though a happy occasion for the fans, this has led some players to complain about an unwanted side effect.

"My wife and I were going to Hawaii," lamented pitcher James Shields. "I'm supposed to be there right now."

James Shields and his wife not vacationing in Hawaii

"Yeah, me too," added outfielder Alex Gordon. "We booked a flight for October 5th. I figured no way would we still be in the playoffs now."

Other Royals players echoed Gordon's sentiments, saying that even though they had acknowledged the possibility of Kansas City making it to the one-game wild card playoff, the likelihood of advancing further was almost nonexistent.

Catcher Salvador Perez seemed to take it even harder than most:
"This is bullshit. My plane tickets to Cancun are non-refundable. Non-refundable. None of us saw this coming," he told reporters yesterday. "I mean, last time this team was in the playoffs I wasn't even born."

"I didn't even know we were allowed in the playoffs," Eric Hosmer [1B] chimed in.

DH Billy Butler reportedly complained to journalists that he hadn't planned a trip, but had really been looking forward to watching the LCS from home.

"I was gonna make nachos, too!"

Though bemoaning their missed vacation time, players are taking solace in the knowledge that at least they'll finally get some time off after getting swept by Baltimore.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Humour No One Will Understand Vol I

"Alot" borrowed (without permission of course) from Allie Brosh @ hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Consumer Warning! DO NOT USE EXFOLIANTS!

If you've bought any skin care products recently, you may have noticed that many contain chemicals called "exfoliants." Manufacturers claim that these chemicals open pores and clean skin.
In the Vietnam War, the U.S. military used DEFOLIANTS to cause the leaves of trees to fall off.
If you look at the etymology of the word "defoliant," you have the prefix de- meaning a negation or removal, and -foliant from foliage, meaning leaves or greenery.
Similarly in "exfoliant," you have the prefix ex- meaning "out of," and -foliant as mentioned before. This means that using these products will cause LEAVES to GROW OUT OF YOUR SKIN!
Below is a picture of Attila Csihar (vocalist of the band Mayhem) who, after fighting a losing battle with exfoliants, is now a tree.

Manufacturers don't want you to know about this horrible reality because ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS MONEY and not the well-being of their customers.
Please pass this information on to your friends and maybe we can help get these destructive products taken off the shelves!