Thursday, March 29, 2012

Another Reason to Hate Text Messages (as if we didn't have enough)

Updates should be coming more frequently soon.  The Internet has informed me that I may have it in my home again after its long absence.

For those who were unaware, rather than typing http://nobodylovesyouandicanproveit.blogspot.com into your browser and getting carpal tunnel syndrome, you may simply go to www.nobodylovesyou.info, which will forward you here.  This is easier to remember when you're telling everyone you know about it, which you should since I'm way funnier (and more inclined to update) when more people are paying attention, probably.

Anyway...

Due to my recent lack of Internet I've been forced to communicate with human beings via other means, such as phone calls, text messages, and [shudder] actual conversations.  This has led to more than a few altercations with my phone.  I have a dumb phone.  This is because I don't want a "smart phone" because I hate technology.  In fact, if I could get by without having a phone I'd get rid of mine but it's damned hard to order pizza and call in phony police reports without one.  Therefore, my old-ass phone with its T9 text messaging occasionally forces me to spell out--letter by letter--the myriad words it is inexplicably missing from its dictionary.  
I have found that the following words are not in my phone's dictionary.  Do not ask why I have needed to use these words in text messages; suffice to say that it's very important.

hippopotamus
aardvark
sluts
felafel
walrus
bastard
assfucking
hipster
pterodactyl
mistletoe
Uranus
erogenous
lefty

However, the word "undulating" is in there.  Thank god for that.