But that's not the worst part. The worst part is reaching for that bottle and thinking to yourself, "GAY."
I bet Rambo never used hand lotion.
When the Vikings rampaged across Scandinavia, pillaging and burning everything in their wake, did they stop to smear on a little hand lotion?
Why not? Because it's girly. Or at least it WAS. Until now.
Introducing Mr. Beefy's Skin Sealant!
This manly bottle of brute force will help to:
- Maintain skin's tensile strength!
- Reduce unwanted loss of blood-fluid!
- Prevent inhibition of muscle growth due to epidermic inflexibility!
- Prevent breakdown of outer organic body covering!
- Maintain positive tactile receptivity from domestic partner(s)!
So there it is. Someone make this happen. But remember: it was MY idea. You owe me at least half the profits. I have witnesses.